THE PROPHECIES OF THE EXULTED ST. TOM
edited by Max Cosmo
excerpt from chapter 7, section 1
...Tom's first prophecy (datewise) was that cheese would take over the world in the year 733. That, of course, never happened. Nor did his prediction that man would grow a third arm in 1249. But when he predicted that man would reach his highest evolution in 1982 and begin to de-evolve back into monkeys, he was dead on. Now, we believe he's on a role! Here are some of his predictions for the future:
2074. Man will colozine the planet Pluto.
2121. Man will grow tails and become more hairy overall.
2370. Man will forsake living in houses of wood, brick or steel in order to live in quaint houses made of dried artificial non-degradable cheese substitutes.
2390. Aliens from outer space, seeing man's nice tails and sensible houses, finally make contact with earth.
3047. Man begins to once again live in trees.
3813. Transition from man to monkey almost complete.
3993. Monky-to-Man-to-Monkey cycle completed, the ancient monkey god Monssamõ freed from his vault at the center of the earth, earth is destroyed